And so we get ready to go to another funeral this weekend. Another heartbreaking, soul-shaking celebration of a life taken from us too soon. Another chance to look at a life and a death with a sense of awe and wonder. The beauty of life and the glory of death. What must the kids think about it all.
I remember their questions about death, coming from them at such an early age. An age where at the time they had no experience of it yet. No surprise. No loss. No finality. Yet aren't those the important moments when you take the time to explain your beliefs and the wonder of salvation. And the beauty of heaven, the afterlife, that comes to sustain them now, that sustains us all now.
For this friend of ours, David, we were asked to put together a video of photos. Our two oldest kids, who've recently learned to edit, contributed the lions share of the work. Their dad a seasoned pro at putting music and video together worked with them. What a thrill to watch them absorb and learn from his talent. What a thrill to watch as they chose simplicity over overdoing and came up with an amazing tribute to a friend. What an amazing process to watch your kids enjoy the opportunity to contribute. To do something completely for somebody else. To stay up late at the end of a long school day and use their youthful energy to recharge ours, and still to get up early to start it all again.
I watched till it was done and threw in my own two cents, then went up to bed while they compressed and copied and all the rest that finishing takes. I didn't really expect to fall asleep, too much on my mind, but I must have drifted off. Suddenly clear as a bell I'm hearing the second to last song and then the last one playing. I'm enjoying the music and watching the images in my mind and at the same time struggling to stay asleep. I don't think caffeine works hard enough to keep me awake during the day, but it sure does at night and pretty soon that music won't leave my mind, that last song is playing over and over again in my head. My husband is now in bed and asleep and I'm awake with the music going inside me and thinking about life and death and how little I understand it.
And so I reach for my iPad and begin this blog.
We are all destined to die. It's our fate from birth. We just don't know how long we have. I believe we all have our earthly missions to fulfill no matter how big or how small and some of us finish sooner than others. Then I guess it's time. It's strange to think that these earthly bodies of ours are just shells that our minds and soul have been put into and yet we put such stock into our appearance and how others look. Not that that's wrong, it's just meaningless in the end.
The other thing that I find interesting is how we choose to fill up our lives. We are busy. We drop one activity and pick up three others. We are so busy, we really don't have that much time for our family and friends. I wonder if we let our looks and activities define us when really what defines us is something so much deeper. Do we ever let ourselves discover that? And how do we use our time on earth to make a difference?
We don't live our lives thinking of ourselves as terminal, I guess that's why death always surprises us. It does take away some of our innocence. But it should leave us with a sense of gratitude for each day that we have with the people we love. Let us put our effort into making the best of that.
Days have passed. The funeral is over. And my husband asks, "Have you noticed how the kids are staying close to me? I jump in the car and so do they. I can't shake them. I know that won't last, but I'll enjoy it while it does."
Stay close and love as much as you can while you can.
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