I know I know, it’s been over now for over a week! Most people have totally forgotten it by now, but I’ve still got Mother’s Day on my mind! I think my husband read my blog and totally washed his hands of the whole thing. That’s my blog about how maybe we should take charge of Mother’s Day ourselves and not wait for our husband’s to guess what we might want out of that day. He seemed relieved and anxious to give it up, like I was going to learn a lesson.
Well I still think it’s a good theory, but the plan was flawed. I did accomplish some of the things I set out to do the week before. I got the mani/pedi, got the new tires for the car, even bought myself a new purse. Hallelujah! But I was still planning on my husband to make exciting plans for the day....
But when he asked me on Friday what I wanted to do on Sunday, I realized we might be in trouble. My thought was to try a “new” restaurant for brunch. You know, someplace we’d never been before, someplace we weren’t likely to ever drive through, someplace with a little adventure for us.
That was the first big miscalculation! How on earth had I forgotten that the reason we never go out for Mother’s Day is that everybody in the world with a mother or even hopes of being a mother goes out on that day during that one small time slot! So I call to make reservations at a restaurant we thought would be fun. They laughed. Not one seat available at any time that day...or the next! What??!!
So ingeniously...I googled restaurants around me! And I found a winner! The menu looked perfect. The location, spectacular. High atop a hill with gorgeous Arizona spring views. A place close to home, but a place we hadn’t been. Reasonably priced, it wasn’t their “top of the rock” restaurant, it was their #2 restaurant. It was picture perfect. Who would think of going there??? Not me! So I call for a reservation. They were mostly booked, but they could get the 7 of us in at 12:30. That was the perfect time for us! Mission accomplished!
And so the glorious Sunday of Mother’s Day begins. We work out, go to church, get our family photo taken and head out to “brunch”! Halfway there, my husband asks, ”now where is this place?” I, who have no directions because I knew he’d been there a bunch of years ago, have to re-explain where we are going! We head up the hill as our reservation time clicks on the clock. And then we stop mid-way! We are at the end of a long line of cars all going to the same place. Uh-oh!
The delay is due to the valeting of cars! Lots of kids jumping into people’s cars and taking them who knows where. My husband and kids see the “Top of the Rock” restaurant and ask if we’re eating there. “Oh no!” I say, “We’re eating at the other one. The cheap one...but it looks nice.”
“I want to go to the ‘Top of the Rock’ on Father’s Day!” my husband says! So they drop me off and I dodge the speeding valets to get into the hotel’s restaurant. I finally figure out where to go as the rest of the family walks in. Well it’s down a few stairs! But the room is very beautiful. We check in. They look at my husband & 5 kids and ask, “how many moms?” (I would think that would be obvious?!) Just one we say. So they hand me a rose and we follow them back through the beautiful restaurant. There are empty tables, none of which had 7 chairs though. And I notice there are huge parties of people with all generations of moms in them. There are windows all around with lovely views. And we are led to a door...the back door. She opens it and ushers us outside.
We are now in a narrow walkway with 4 or 5 empty tables set up. Ours had 10 chairs actually where we sat down. We are the only ones out there. There are walls of rock in front of us, the restaurant behind us. No view whatsoever! I’m starting to panic, because I can never eat outside in spring in Phoenix...my allergies will kill me!
We sit there alone, the 7 of us. Me with my rose and all of us with no menus! We sit there wondering what is on the menu and me assuring everybody...oh there’s good stuff on there, you will love it. So finally a waiter comes out and gets everybody’s juice orders and a mimosa for me. I debated on that, but it’s my day after all!
So we sit and wait for our drinks...still no menus! Hmmm. At last all the drinks are poured and we stare blankly at our waiter who immediately tells us we are welcome to start the buffet. Ewww!
Well it is Mother’s Day. It will cost us a little bit more, but how bad can it be? $150 probably. Oh well, live & learn. The kids are now in motion, thrilled by the idea of endless eating! We can barely get out of our chairs cause we’re so squished in that small space with giant umbrellas in the way trying to cover all of us! So now the 7 of us blast inside, into shelter, into coolness, bliss. As our eyes try to adjust to the light we miss entirely the breakfast room and head instead to “dinner” where there’s lamb and beef and a spaghetti typish pasta and chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, mashed potatoes and all that stuff. Not what I wanted, but ok.
We fill up our plates, shuffle past the happy, cool people inside and settle back in outside. Geez it’s hot! We shake our heads, laugh as we eat, just our family alone outside. Are we not dressed right? What did we do wrong? Do we look that bad? Can’t they put two of those smaller empty tables together for us...inside?
My son jumps up, “I’m ready for more.” The door opens and we feel the cool inside air. “hold that open a minute” one of the kids says!
I don’t know how many plates my son was holding when he returned, but he’d found the breakfast area and had an omelet, a waffle and a big bit of everything you can imagine. “Where was that?” the rest of us say?
We all go back in, one at a time so we can hold the door open more often. I graciously pass on a 2nd mimosa. But the breakfast part is great. We sweat as we eat. Oh yeah, there are no misters like we have everywhere here in Phoenix, everywhere food is eaten outside. Just a couple of those umbrellas jammed in next to us!
The desserts look amazing. “This is almost as good as ‘Goofy’s Kitchen’” the kids chime. “We love that place!”
The bill comes & I ignore it, thinking I know what vicinity that’s in. I let the waiter pour me more mimosa. He just seemed compelled to do that after leaving the bill. And he wasn’t grabbing at it either to add it on. Hmmm.
We are starting to open the door, not to go back inside, but just to get a shot of cool air. “You can’t do that,” my husband says, “you’ll disturb the people inside.” What like we’re not disturbed?!!
The kids are wearing out from dessert eating and start to investigate “where those stairs go.” We’re still the only ones outside. We can’t see the inside through the windows, but we are totally on display to all those inside. Some of the kids are off. My husband picks up the check, stops breathing for a minute, then starts to laugh. Or was that choke? I snatch it out of his hand. $359.00! $50 per person. Plus the 20% tip for the waiter was already added in. Good thing for him, because I wouldn’t have left 20% for a buffet, where I’m doing 90% of the work.
My husband passes the bill around to let all the kids observe (probably what a great Mother’s Day I had set up for myself). We’re laughing because you can’t really cry at a Mother’s Day buffet. The waiter must have been watching us, cause he comes out and is sure to let us know that he didn’t charge us for our youngest child. I didn’t have the heart to ask if that was because of the crummy seating or the fact that our skinny 9 year old can’t eat $50 worth of food in a week. He asks if I wanted more mimosa. Everyone screams “yes”! I took it realizing that we probably paid for unlimited mimosa for all!
“I don’t think we’ll eat at “Top of the Rock” for Father’s Day,” my husband quips!
The rose was deader than a door nail! I try to get a new one on the way out (through the delicious inside), but they look at me like I’m a lunatic. And maybe I am after 3 mimosa’s, sweating outside and a bill greater than a week’s worth of groceries. I walk out with my dead rose and my laughing family. We laugh all the way home as my husband, the comedian, relives every moment of the meal.
Thank God for family, a family who always looks at the bright side of things. For me, it will be another century or so before I venture out for another Mother’s Day feast. We’ll pick another day to celebrate!
In fact, it’s not too early to formulate a new plan for next year! After all, I surely am the only one worrying about that one!
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