How could anyone harm a defenseless child? Most of us can’t imagine what would make an adult verbally or physically mistreat a child. According to HelpGuide.Org, there is an estimated 906,000 children who are victims of abuse & neglect every year in the USA, making child abuse more common and shocking then many of us realize. Child abuse has no boundaries; it cuts across social classes and all ethnicities. The affects cut deep and long lasting and often leads to further abuse.
One of the most painful realities of child abuse is that the pattern repeats itself. One of every three abused or neglected children will grow up to become an abusive parent. You may be reluctant to interfere with someone else’s family interactions, but you can make a huge difference in a child’s life if you do. The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal from their abuse and not perpetuate the cycle.
But, what if you see a child being mistreated in public? How are you to know if it is an abusive situation or not? Who are you to interfere with another parent’s interaction with their child?
Listen to your gut reaction. If it doesn’t feel good to you, it doesn’t feel good to the child. At the same time, don’t jump to conclusions. Take a moment to assess the situation and then respond. The worst thing you can do is to give the parent dirty looks or make snide remarks. Negative looks are likely to increase the parent’s stress or anger and could make matters worse for the child. Alternatively, there are positive, supportive things you can say and do:
If the child is misbehaving, sidetrack the child’s attention by talking to the child.
“I like your t-shirt. Did you get that on vacation?”
“That’s a great baseball cap. Do you like baseball? ”
Praise the parent or child.
“She has the curliest hair.”
“That’s a very pretty dress on your daughter. Where did you get it?”
Strike up a conversation with the adult to divert their attention away from the child.
“He seems to be trying your patience. ”
“I know how you feel, my child sometimes gets upset like that, too. ”
“It looks like it’s been a long day for both of you. Is there anything I can do to help? ”
Intervene when the child is in danger.
If the child is left unattended, stand near the child until the parent returns (like in a shopping cart or vacant car).
If the child is in immediate danger, call 911!
WHERE TO GET HELP OR REPORT CHILD ABUSE
· If you suspect a child is in immediate danger contact law enforcement as soon as possible.
· To get help in the U.S., call: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (24/7 information, advice and support)
· To get help for child sexual abuse, call:
1-888-PREVENT (1-888-773-8368) Stop It Now
1-800-656-HOPE Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)
(Adapted from Prevent Child Abuse America)
Prior to opening her own coaching business, Karen Nowicki was a teacher, asst. principal and vice president for public and charter schools. Karen is the founder of the www.MotherDaughterWeekends.com and the author of Maddie Moonbeam’s Garden. Karen lives in Chandler, AZ with her husband and three children. For more with Karen, sign up for her free newsletter atwww.apeacefulintegration.com.
